Monday, December 8, 2008


# My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects. -- Les Dawson
# A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty. -- Rudyard Kipling
# Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. -- Groucho Marx
# It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time. -- Tallulah Bankhead
# A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. -- Joey Adams
# Man has will, but woman has her way. -- Oliver Wendell Holmes
# If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. -- Aristotle Onassis # What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman. -- Lord Byron
# Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them. -- Dick Van Dyke
# From birth to 18 a girl needs good parents; from 18 to 35, she needs good looks. From 35 to 55, good personality. From 55 on, she needs good cash. I'm saving my money. -- Sophie Tucker # When women go wrong, men go right after them. -- Mae West
# A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often. -- Oliver Herford
# At 38 years, I finally got me the woman that said those six words I wanted all my life to hear: 'My dad owns a liquor store.' -- Mark Klein
# Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon. -- Tim Allen
# Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women very happy? -- Benny Hill
# Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. -- Lewis Grizzard

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